Permissive Parenting: What is it, And What Are Its Consequences?

There is a lot of debate surrounding permissive parenting these days.

Some people swear by it, while others believe the consequences can be disastrous.

So, what is permissive parenting? And what are the upshots?

What is permissive parenting, and what does it entail?

Clinical and development psychologist Diana Baumrind identified permissive parenting, also known as indulgent parenting, as one of three major parenting styles - authoritarian, authoritative, and permissive.

According to Baumrind, permissive parents are "lenient" and "responsive" to their children.

Low demands with high responsiveness characterize permissive parenting.

They are warm and grant more autonomy than control. It's basically the opposite of authoritarian parents.

Permissive parents have low expectations of their children regarding maturity and self-regulation and are typically lax in discipline.

Additionally, permissive parents prioritize their children's needs and wants above everything and often avoid confrontation.

How do you know if you're a permissive parent?

So, what exactly are the signs that you may be a permissive parent?

If you constantly give in to your child's demands, you may be one of them.

These are some examples of permissive parenting:

• Permissive parents often avoid confrontation.

• They tend to be warm and nurturing with their child.

• They typically put their children's requests above everything else.

• They do not believe in using discipline or punishment to teach their children bad behavior.

• They usually ignore or find excuses for their child's misbehaviors.

• They use bribes to get their child to comply.

• They don't set limits and rarely enforce rules or expectations.

• Communication is open, but these parents let children decide for themselves rather than giving directions.

What are the effects of permissive parenting?

Permissive parents tend to be very indulgent and often give their children much freedom.

Unfortunately, this freedom usually harms children in the long term.

Studies have found that children of permissive parents are more likely to engage in risky behavior, have low academic achievement, and have trouble forming relationships.

Overall, children raised by permissive parents are more likely to present the following outcomes:

• Delinquent behaviors, alcohol use, and substance abuse.

• Lower academic performance.

• Have more health issues and obesity tendencies.

• Mental health illnesses such as depression and anxiety.

• Poorer social skills

• Low levels of self-esteem, self-control, and self-understanding

• Difficulty coping with problems

• Impulsive behavior

What is the defense for a permissive parenting style?

Now that we have looked at the potential adverse effects of permissive parenting, you may be wondering if there is any defense for this parenting style.

Yes, some parents defend indulgent parenting. In short, these are the same parents who tend to oppose helicopter and authoritarian parenting.

According to them, permissive parenting allows children to become more independent, self-sufficient, and creative because it provides a more relaxed and less controlled environment.

Furthermore, parents may feel that this parenting style fosters a stronger relationship between parent and child.

Although I agree that children raised by permissive parents may be more independent and self-reliant, the child's personality and maturity greatly influence the positive outcomes.

In short, permissive parenting may work for some children, but it generally results in more problems than it solves.

I question this parenting style because permissive parents usually don't set limits, tend to overlook lousy behavior, and don't provide proper guidance.

The lack of boundaries and structure can lead to problems down the road for children.

For example, they might have difficulty following rules, struggle in school, and act out in other ways if they are not used to having expectations or restrictions set for them.

Researchers show that effective and positive discipline is about teaching and guiding children, not forcing them to obey. 

Children need structure and some level of control to feel safe and secure.

They need to know that there are consequences for their actions.

And they need parents willing to provide the guidance and support they need to grow into responsible adults.

Therefore, while permissive parenting might work for some families, there are better parenting styles for most children.

Instead, the authoritative parenting style is a better option for most families because it balances emotional support and discipline.

You can still be warm and allow your child to have some independence, but you also set limits and provide guidance.

How to set boundaries for your children without being too restrictive or authoritarian

Setting boundaries for your children without being too restrictive or authoritarian is possible.

Here are some tips:

1. Explain the reasons behind your rules and expectations.

2. Be consistent with your rules and consequences.

3. Avoid using bribes to get your child to comply.

4. Try using positive reinforcement rather than punishment.

5. Avoid yelling or losing your temper.

6. Take the time to listen to your child's point of view.

7. Be firm but loving with your children.

8. Set realistic expectations for your children.

9. Recognize and praise your child's positive behavior.

10. Seek professional help if you're struggling to set boundaries for your children.

If you're a permissive parent, it's essential to balance being too permissive and restrictive.

It's also important to be consistent with your rules and expectations.

The Takeaway

In the quest to make our children happy, we sometimes forget that our primary job as parents is to help them grow into well-adjusted adults.

Parents today want to prevent their children from experiencing pain or discomfort.

Somehow, it's a way to shift from the previous generations' parenting techniques.

When parents dictated the rules and expectations, kids had to follow along.

Conversely, some parents delegate discipline to teachers, coaches, or experts instead of dealing with it themselves.

At the same time, allowing kids to scream matches and power struggles at home.

While permissive parenting may seem like a fairer and more modern route, it can actually do more harm than good in the long run.

If permissive parenting is the path of least resistance, it's probably not the best way.

It can lead to many behavioral issues in children, and it's just plain hard work. 

To wrap it up, try using some of the tips you've found here to become a more authoritative parent without using harsh punishment or yelling.

The journey won't be easy, but it will be worth it!