How to Raise a Happy Only Child: 11 Tips to Help You Out

How to raise a happy child? 

We all want our kids to be happy, of course! I mean, what parent wouldn't want that?

But sometimes, finding a balance between what children want and what makes them happy is tough.

So, how can you help your child in this process? Here are 11 tips on how to raise a happy child:

1 – Encourage Social Interaction and Lasting Relationship

Socialization is a crucial part of every child's development.

Kids with better social skills are more likely to enjoy healthier relationships.

According to the longest-running research by a group at Harvard, social connections are one of the most important factors for lasting happiness and health.

A recent study also showed that people who actively decide to improve their social relations often report becoming happier.

So, even if you are not the biggest fan of playdates, go for it!

Also, teach your children to make friends and the importance of building long-lasting relationships.

The type that your kid, especially when they are singletons, can carry for their lifetime.

2 – Ignite Passion | Sports and Hobbies

It is no secret that exercise has tons of benefits!

To point out, from regulating your mood to improving your digestion.

Therefore, motivate your kids to try as many sports as possible.

Bring up different options, even as simple as riding a scooter around the neighborhood or getting them a skipping rope.

The key is to make it fun!

Exposing your children to many activities increases their likelihood of becoming a habit.

In addition to sports, you can also inspire them to find a hobby – from piano to painting lessons. 

Finding a passion, an activity your child is good at is always a positive way to boost self-esteem.

The experience can have a profound impact on children's lives.

There is also a bonus: when they engage in after-school activities, they have more opportunities to socialize, practice impulsivity, and reduce screen time.

3 – Teach Your Child to Become Resilient

We all have good and bad days, but the ability to bounce back after a disappointment separates resilient people.

A resilient child can cope better with big and small life challenges.

They are also more likely to find happiness in their day-to-day lives since they know how to cope with adversity.

So, what are some tips parents can do to help their kids develop resilience?

• Motivate your kids to try new things and step out of their comfort zone. When they do so, they become more adaptable and flexible.

• Teach them how to problem-solve. When they face a difficult situation, help them break it down into smaller pieces so they can figure out a way to overcome it.

• Encourage them to persevere when they encounter setbacks. Help them see that failure is not the end but a learning opportunity.

• Inspire them to develop a positive outlook. Help them see the good in every situation, even tough ones.

• Talk to them honestly about your own experiences with failure. Doing so will show your child that even adults make mistakes and it's okay to fail.

4 – Cultivate Fun and Optimism

Promote a positive mindset in your child's head.

Studies show that kids pick up the emotional vibes in their homes very early, especially from their parents or family members.

Your children will follow in your footsteps if you are optimistic and often see the bright side.

Kimberly Hershenson, an American psychotherapist, said:

"Positive thinking doesn't mean that you ignore life's stressors. You just approach hardship in a more productive way".

When stress happens, it is up to you to choose how much importance you will give it – easier said than done! I know it…

But try to focus on the lessons you can take from it, if any! Or at least avoid chewing over the tragic event.

Besides, laugh as much as the situation allows because laughter is contagious!

Make fun of yourself when something does not happen as expected.

By finding more opportunities for humor and laughter, you bring joy to your kid's life and teach them how to handle emotions better and feel happier overall.

5 – Help Your Only Child to Develop Gratitude

Gratitude is shifting your mind to positive things, like cherishing a beautiful flower, valuing your close friends and family, enjoying a day at the park, welcoming new experiences, etc.

Studies show that gratitude is strongly associated with greater optimism and happiness.

In addition, it helps people deal better with stress and traumatic experiences.

So, how can you teach your child to develop gratitude?

First, you can model gratitude yourself. We all know that children learn by example.

Therefore, when something good happens, express your thankfulness out loud. For example, "I'm so happy we got to play outside today" or "I'm grateful for my health."

You can also keep a gratitude family journal.

Every day, write down at least one thing you're grateful for. It can be anything, no matter how small.

The journal will help your children develop a habit of thinking about the positive things in life.

Finally, you can volunteer together as a family.

Helping others is a great way to cultivate gratitude. It's also an excellent opportunity to bond as a family and make new friends.

Grateful children usually concentrate on what they have instead of what they lack. 

Appreciating what you have (material or experiences) will bring pleasure and happiness to their lives.

6 – Praise The Effort, Not The Result

Praise the effort, not the result, has become a mantra for many of us.

We've learned that we should compliment our children for trying regardless of the outcome.

And avoid overly emphasizing their natural abilities or characteristics – "You are so smart/intelligent/pretty." Keep these thoughts to yourself! 😉

When kids believe that specific skills and talents are traits they either have or don't have, they could be devastated when they "fail."

The first reaction would be that they are not good and give up trying it.

Carol Dweck, a psychologist and Stanford professor, says praising people for their hard work inspires them to take risks, learn from mistakes, and move on from setbacks. 

Likewise, praising people for their natural ability makes them feel they must prove their talent and any misstep seems like a defeat.

Most importantly, failure is part of the process. Jack Welch's mum famously said: "If you don't know how to lose, you'll never know how to win."

7 – Stimulate Generosity

You don't need to be an expert to know that practicing friendly gestures makes you feel good.

Researchers have found that being generous activates an area of your brain linked with happiness and the reward cycle.

Children are naturally "self-centric," and teaching them how to cultivate empathy takes time and practice.

Don't give up! Use everyday events to discuss what it means to be kind and generous with your kids.

Talk to your children about how performing kind acts can positively affect others.

It can be as simple as helping a new student feel welcomed at school or volunteering in a local charity and seeing your impact on someone's life.

These acts will undoubtedly increase the chances of making them feel empowered and, in turn, happy children!

Plus, the world will be a better place!

8 – Do Not Overindulge Your Only Child

We all want our kids to be happy, but there's a difference between making them happy and overindulging them.

The line is often blurry and easy to cross without meaning.

It can take different forms, such as giving them everything they want, not setting any limits, or not teaching them how to deal with disappointment.

Spoiling your kid can be harmful in the long run as they will grow up believing that they can have whatever they want and, when they don't, tend to become extremely unhappy.

As a result, this overindulgence usually leads to spoiled little brats. And we do not want to reinforce the only child stereotype!

Frequently, spoiled kids will become irresponsible, dependent, defiant, and unable to control their emotions.

Indeed, it does not bring any glee to their lives or anyone close!

9 – Listen to Your Child | Be Empathetic!

Listening to your child is a fundamental parenting skill for creating a strong bond and trust.

They will feel more secure and confident if they sense that you are paying attention and sympathizing with their feelings.

Step back and listen to them first, even if you know what your child will say or think they are overreacting.

New York psychoanalyst Gail Salts says, "If they feel listened to, they are more likely to be able to listen and will feel more understood, have more trust, and be more interested in what you have to say."

Let them spill the beans without judgment or interruption.

It does not necessarily mean that you must agree with whatever they tell you. But it would help if you acknowledged their feeling.

Human Improvement Project, a science-based research institution, notes that if your child doesn't feel comfortable coming to you with small things, they won't come later with the big stuff.

Through years of groundbreaking research, the same institution developed the Happy Child parenting app, which gives you cutting-edge study and tips to help you raise a well-adjusted and happy child.

The app presents the content in easy-to-understand lessons through short videos. It's free, so it's definitely worth a try. 

10 – Spend Quality Time and Show Your Unconditional Love

Scientifically-backed research found that building a deep bond with your child increases oxytocin levels. 

Oxytocin is the brain chemical most associated with long-term happiness and well-being.

Spending quality time every day surely builds better relationships.

And you only need a little time from your busy schedule.

You can create these moments by cooking dinner together, reading a bedtime story, playing a board game, or going for a walk in the park.

In summary, focus on your child and not on anything else while you spend time together.

So, put away your phone and give it all your attention, even for a few minutes.

11 – Take Care of Yourself | Happy Parent, Happy Child!

Finally, being a good mother is hard if you do not feel good in your skin!

But, unfortunately, sometimes we are so busy ensuring our kids are healthy, safe, and happy that we often neglect our feelings.

I've recently read an interesting post about how we need to stop glamorizing burnout.

It's almost a silent competition – your relentless, unconditional, full-time dedication to your kids means you are a successful mother.

The idea that we shall not rest and have to prioritize our child's needs over ours is a mistaken concept.

Children pick up when parents are exhausted and stressed.

Then, naturally, this will affect your emotions and, consequently, your relationship with your family.

That said, reserve some time for yourself – reading a book, drinking a glass of wine, having coffee with your friends, binge-watching your favorite TV show, having a pleasant and relaxing spa day, or going to the gym!

Whatever makes you happy, make it a habit!

I don't think Olivia is perfect, and I don't expect she will ever! She still has a long way to go to improve her emotional skills.

Yet, we work hard to put in place a happy environment at home so she can grow up to be an optimistic and successful adult.