Not every kid is a social butterfly – and that's perfectly fine!

But it's essential that your child – shy or social – makes and keeps friends.

Friendship isn't just important for companionship.

Children also need friends to learn how to communicate, share and empathize.

It's a crucial part of developing into a well-balanced adult.

So, let's go through some practical do's and don'ts to help your only child make friends – and keep them!

Do's to help your only child make friends

Do Practice Social Skills at Home

You can help your only child make friends at home by practicing the social skills necessary for friendship.

This includes taking turns, listening, sharing, and asking questions.

As a family, model these skills during your family board game night or even when talking at dinner.

Do Family Activities Where Other Kids are Around

Making new friends is hard if you're stuck inside all day.

Be sure to do family activities where other kids are plentiful, such as a park, playground, or library.

Your child may naturally find other kids to play with.

Alternatively, you can join a playgroup or class with other kids.

This way, your only child can make friends while doing something they enjoy!

Do Encourage Your Kid to Ask Others to Play, Instead of Waiting to be Asked

Despite being friendly and sociable, Olivia is a bit shy in unfamiliar settings.

As a result, she rarely reaches out to new friends.

Thus, I encourage her to ask whenever I see a potential opportunity for "success."

I then praise her brave action and discuss its benefits.

These small achievements certainly boost her boldness.

Often kids are eager to make new friends – and help your only child make friends by encouraging initiative!

Do organize playdates with classmates.

This might not be a popular option for some mothers, especially for introverted parents like me.

I used to dread playdates, but I eventually got used to it.

It was one of the best ways to help Olivia make friends when she was younger.

If you're worried about not getting along with the other parent, host a playdate at a neutral location, like a park.

This way, you can make a quick exit if needed.

A playdate also allows you to observe your child's behavior when they are with other kids.

Thus, you can help them to improve their social skills if needed.

Do Talk to a Teacher to Find Out How Your Kid is Socializing in the Classroom

Your kid's teacher may be a great source of information about your kid's social life.

Schedule a meeting with their teacher to find out what classmates could become friends with and whether a more significant issue is happening, such as bullying.

Don'ts to help your only child make friends

Don't Force Your Kid to Socialize

Forcing and nagging your kid to be social will make matters worse.

Likely, it will increase your kid's anxiety about joining in with others.

I was a timid child and still vividly remember my mother's cringeworthy sentence in social gatherings: "she's so shy, like a wallflower!"

Let's say that I just wished the ground would swallow me up.

Try to be supportive and encourage your kid within their range of current social skills.

And please, try to avoid labeling your child, especially in front of others.

Don't Keep Your Kid Shut at Home

You feel bad that your child spends a lot of time alone but doesn't make enough effort to find activities or organize playdates to facilitate the situation.

Use common interests to help your only child make friends.

For example, sign them up for a club, activity, or sport they are interested in.

Having a built-in activity can be the ideal way to make friendships.

Don't Compare Your Kid to Others, Especially in Front of Them

Every kid has a unique personality, and fostering abilities that allow them to shine is important.

Try to avoid comparing your only kid to classmates or teammates.

Cutting down a kid's confidence can make it more challenging to build relationships.

Don't Pick Your Kids' Friends For Them

It would help if you encouraged building friendships, but you should refrain from hand-selecting friends for your kid.

Relationships need to arise naturally, so they won't be artificial or forced.

You can ease the process, but don't force them to become friends with someone they don't click with.

Let kids create their own unique bonds.

How your only child can keep friends

Building solid friendships can be tricky (ask some adults!).

However, budding companions can turn into bestie relationships if kids learn how to manage them.

Here are some key ways you can help your only child keep friends:

Avoid Miscommunication

Not being on the same page can lead to fights.

Encourage your kid to communicate clearly and work out disagreements openly and fairly.

Apologizing

Help your kid know when it's time to apologize, and don't let stubbornness get in the way.

Apologies can help mend and strengthen early friendships.

Finding Common Ground

Some friendships peter out when kids can't find common interests.

So motivate your kid to find mutually exciting things to do with friends.

For example, if they both like bike riding, suggest that activity at the next playdate.

"Memory Making"

All relationships need time and space to grow.

School and playdates are great opportunities, but you should encourage some memorable moments, too.

Making memories together, such as going camping (even if it's in the backyard), can strengthen friendships.

Final thoughts

While making new friends is natural for some, it can be challenging for others.

Yet, I do believe that with coaching and some practice, any child can master this challenge.

Friendship can be a roller coaster ride – for people of all ages!

However, you can help your only child navigate their first friendships by following these dos and don'ts.

Nevertheless, always respect your child's personality and set expectations accordingly.

After all, some kids are introverted by nature and don't feel the need to be besties with everyone. And that's okay!

Do’s And Don’ts to Help Your Only Child Make Friends