One Child or More? 7 Questions to Ask Yourself
In this article, Dr. Susan Newman shares the questions she believes are crucial to consider when deciding whether or not to have another child.
KEY QUESTIONS
How Important is My Job to Me?
Can I afford one child or more?
Do you have FOMO?
How long can I wait to have a baby?
Do you and your partner agree?
Are only children happy?
Still not sure?
Report after report predicts fewer babies as a result of the pandemic.
Most base their findings on the large number of women saying that they plan to put off having babies or have fewer of them.
If you have one child and are on the fence about having more children, you may want to consider if or why one child may be just right for you.
Planning family size is complicated. Asking yourself these seven questions may help you begin to clarify what is best for you and your family.
How Important is My Job To Me?
Roughly four times more women than men lost their jobs or dropped out of the workforce during the pandemic.
One of the primary reasons was added childcare and/or online schooling supervision.
The desire or necessity to be employed is another factor in the declining birthrate.
The Institute for Family Studies found that “almost a third of respondents identify both work and family as very important .”
Their report notes, “The desire for meaningful or important work, not simply well-compensated work, is powerful, and has significant and negative implications for childbearing.”
If you love your job and want to grow in it, fewer children than you hope for could be the solution.
Those who stayed in the workforce during the pandemic worried about how they would be perceived at work: particularly if using any time-off benefits an employer provided and if taking extra time might affect career advancement or jeopardize their jobs.
Can I Afford One Child or More?
No one likes to put a price tag on children. Nonetheless, they are expensive.
On average, a middle-income family will spend $233,610 to raise a child from birth to college age (not including college costs).
The amount fluctuates higher or lower depending on where you live and your income.
That said, seriously consider how the expense of a baby or another baby might change your lifestyle and why one child may be just right for you.
Do You Have FOMO?
Your decision may come down to how many children can you afford without having to give up the things you love: meeting friends or colleagues after work, spontaneous get-togethers, trips you want to take, parties you might not be able to attend because your child is ill or you cannot find a sitter.
It’s fact: If you suffer from FOMO (fear of missing out), be prepared to give up some of the freedoms you cherish and think about how that may affect you.
How Long Can I Wait to Have a Baby?
Whether you are wanting your first child or second or third, age is a factor to weigh in the equation.
The options and advances within the fertility industry are extensive allowing older women to become pregnant, however, the cost can be prohibitive.
If you are hesitant to become pregnant now, you may want to look into freezing your eggs or embryos for a future date.
Fertility treatments can be emotionally difficult and stressful. It is one of the reasons why some women with one child abandon the idea of giving their child a brother or sister.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Susan Newman, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, parenting expert, and best-selling author.
