On the Fence About Having Another Child?
In this post, Dr. Susan Newman, Social psychologist, parenting expert, and best-selling author, shares her professional opinion on why having one child might be the best option for you.
You can read the full article (original) on her website.
Conflicted about adding another child to your family?
Deciding to have one child or several is monumental. It can cause all kinds of self-doubt, friction, worry and, frankly, stress.
You and your partner may disagree on the number of children you want, making the decision all the more difficult.
In speaking to those with one child who are deciding whether to have a second, I regularly hear similar struggles and conflicts: “Is one child enough?” “Will I regret not having another child?” “Will my child be lonely?”
So many people have been brainwashed into believing that children need siblings.
That an only child will be spoiled, selfish, difficult.
Decades of research have debunked those myths, yet the stigmas hold fast.
In spite of persistent stereotypes, families have steadily gotten smaller.
And, surprisingly, the desired number of children has also decreased.
According to the most recent Gallup poll on the topic, from 1936 through the 1960s more than six in 10 adults thought that having three or more children was ideal.
Today, “50% say one or two is best.”
Why More Families Embrace Fewer Children
Leah Ruppanner, a sociologist at the University of Melbourne and a mother on the fence about having a second child, was the lead researcher in the study, “Harried and Unhealthy? Parenthood, Time Pressure, and Mental Health” published in the Journal of Marriage and Family.
Her team looked at the data of 20,000 Australians collected over 16 years from that country’s Household, Income and Labour Dynamics survey.
Her team discovered that with the arrival of a second child a mother’s mental health declines and anxiety doubles.
She points out, “The increased time pressure associated with second births explains mothers’ worse mental health” which is greater than that for fathers and is explained by the fact that mothers assume a greater proportion of caregiving even as children age.
Dr. Ruppanner believes that women are “probably not going to have two children, they’re probably going to have one … or none.”
