The Pros And the Cons of Having an Only Child
The pros and cons of having an only child are shared by mothers!
I’ve been diving into the only-child world for the last few months!
Reading articles, studies, blogs, news, books, Facebook discussion groups, and so on.
One of the things of great interest to many is reconciling the benefits of having one child versus its drawbacks.
So, I decided to ask some of my close friends and relatives about the major pros and cons of having an only child.
To start with, I’ll give my personal opinion.
Spoiler alert: right now, I am on the very end of the rating scale of a happy and fulfilled mama of one!
Natasha – mom to Olivia (9)
Major Pros:
“Oh Gosh, I can go on for hours trying to convince you of the perks of it. First and foremost, I have been able to enjoy every single phase of her 9 years without having to share my attention with another child – I’m not very good at multitasking! We have such a strong bond and collaboration. In addition, it is easier to stretch ourselves financially to provide the education and activities that we find suitable for her and experiences that we couldn’t have if we had more than one.”
Major Cons:
“The fact that she doesn’t have a sibling to grow up with and share experiences daily. However, she is such an independent, lively and happy girl that I don’t think it’s a big deal for her. She is certainly much more confident and comfortable in her skin than I was, growing up with 3 sisters. Like everything in life, I believe it’s all relative – it depends on the child’s personality, family circumstances, parenting style, and the right mindset to make the most of any situation!”
Soojin – mom to Yoolee (9)
Major Pros:
“She has her parents’ undivided attention and support – mentally, physically, and financially. That helps her be more content/secure with herself and her personality. I think she also has more time for self-reflection to discover and understand herself better”.
Major Cons:
“Interaction among siblings is different from interaction with parents, friends, etc., which can be helpful throughout your entire life. To me, not having that opportunity is a drawback of being an only child.”
Melissa – mom to Bruno (9)
Major Pros:
“Having more time and money to invest in my child. I can provide him opportunities and resources that maybe I couldn’t if I had more children.”
Major Cons:
“Not having someone to play with and share things with daily, especially in our case because we do not have any extended family near us. Knowing that he will be our sole carer when we get old.”
Anamika – mom to Aashi (9)
Major Pros:
“Complete focus on one child.”
Major Cons:
“While we are still a happy family, I’ve always aspired for a second child to see my family complete. It’s a feeling of emptiness when I see two siblings playing and sharing joy together. Siblings’ journey of growing together provides many learning processes like sharing, caring, empathy, etc., and that’s a gap we as parents need to always bridge otherwise.”
Fabiana – mom to Bia (18)
Major Pros:
“I think raising a child today brings a lot of concern. The world is challenging and complicated. I am afraid of the future of the next generations. The worry would be double or triple if I had more than one! Besides that, there is a financial perk. If I had more than one, it might not be possible to pay for a good school, courses, travel, etc.”
Major Cons:
“Not having siblings to share the future, sharing concerns, having family meetings… I hope she has great friends, and they are like siblings :).”
Nadia – mom to Rachel (14)
Major Pros:
“I was born to be a mother to my only child. So I can fully dedicate my time, give more attention, and guide her. Our collaboration and relationship are powerful. I can financially invest in her studies and provide all sorts of experiences. My husband is really on board and committed to her education and well-being too!.”
Major Cons:
“The major disadvantage is growing up without a companion and being the sole child of her parents. Now that she is a teenager, I realize that not having a sibling to share daily events with can be tough. But, on the other hand, I am also very conscious not to be too demanding on her.”
Sueli – mom to Bruno (23)
Major Pros:
“He gets our exclusive love and dedication. I fulfilled my dream of being a mother. However, I still have the flexibility of continuing to pursue career opportunities, dreams, and adventures.”
Major Cons:
“The major fear/apprehension that when we leave this world, he would be left alone, losing the strong bond that only family can provide to support him in challenging times.”
Simone – mom to Malakai (9)
Major Pros:
“It allows us the time and energy to give him undivided attention and emotional support. In addition, having only one means we can expose him to the world through travel and culture.”
Major Cons:
“With only one child, you have to be a bit more creative on how to get them socialized and have some of those childhood play-based experiences – especially the learning that comes from arguing with your siblings! :)”
Adriana – mom to Matheus (9)
Major Pros:
“I believe that the greatest benefit is that we can enjoy as much time as possible, dedicate ourselves to his education, but always imposing limits so that this upbringing is not “overprotective.” The only child also demands from us attitudes that with another child, we would be accommodated in certain aspects.”
Major Cons:
“I worry what will happen when we (parents) grow older and can no longer support him. The future will say whether this concern that I have will actually take place.”
Monica – mom to Duncan (17)
Major Pros:
“Easier Planning – Financial, Health, Education, travel, etc. – Only one child needs to be considered. “
Major Cons:
“I always worry about him feeling obligated to make decisions regarding us parents when we grow older; that might hinder his own path.”
There will always be pros and cons, whether you have one, two, more, or none.
For example, you might feel overwhelmed having only one as much as having 4 (like my mom!).
There will always be happy, guilty, sad, uncertain, and exciting moments regardless of your number of kids.
Remember that nobody can make you feel bad or guilty for having one child, no matter the nature of your decision!
You are best placed to influence the advantages and disadvantages of having an only child!
A special THANK YOU to my dear friends who kindly shared their personal thoughts about their special ones!
