Growing Up as an Only Child: a Heartwarming Story

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My story begins in 1986, where 35 years ago. I was born into a family of two young adults.

At three months old, my father left home, and after a year, he remarried.

So, I can say that my life has permanently been reduced to a duo: my mom and I.

Unfortunately for her, my maternal grandmother died soon after my father left home.

Today, as a mother, I can't bear to imagine the pain, the tiredness, and all the suffering my mother must have gone through… but anyway, that's not the issue here.

When I try to think and describe what it's like to be an only child, I face many difficulties.

I don't know what it feels like to grow up in a "normal" family. It was always just the two of us. 

The house was silent; I always had my space, things, and my mother's attention just for me.

Therefore, this is my standard reference, and I don't know any better.

I had a happy childhood, with many trips and gifts, and I also had the presence of my maternal grandfather, who was always with us until I was 13 years old. 

After this period, tragic cancer took from me the one who was always my true hero!

I also grew up very close to 3 cousins​​, and until then, I thought they played the role of "brothers I didn't have."

Today I see that this doesn't make up for the absence of siblings because, in reality, each one follows their path during adulthood, which is what it is.

There is no longer that "union." Interests change, and the course of life changes.

Do I miss having siblings? Before my two-year-old was born, I would say no.

Reason: I see more families fighting and complaining about their siblings than happy with them.

In other words, who guarantees that it wouldn't be different for me?

Sometimes I think: I have to give him a companion so he won't be an only child like me, but then I stop and think: who guarantees that the siblings will be close?

A family's bond comes from a solid structure of love and companionship, and I am sure that I would do very well in raising children together.

Nevertheless, I still think that having a second child would reopen very high psychological stress and too much cost of living, which I am not willing to face, and my husband thinks the same.

Even so, I still fear for my son. I'm afraid he's too lonely, given my tiny core family.

Still, honestly, the future belongs to God, and I can't control all the variables.

Like me, I hope he finds a good circle of friends and develops an extended family that welcomes and makes him happy.

Today I miss having someone closer to me who is not just my mother.

If I had a (lovely) brother or sister, it would be great to be part of my son's life.

The festive dates have been so empty without my father, brothers, and grandparents.

I always wanted to have a full house, and now I live in a big place, and our memories have been only with my mother, husband, and son.

My entire life story has made me a strong and independent person.

My mother worked a lot, and my grandfather left us early, and, as I said, it was just her and me.

She did everything to give me a comfortable life. I

helped her whenever I could – walking alone to school and having my homework done without her asking me to do it.

Life made me responsible without having to have anyone in between.

My mother was not a "traditional" mother who baked Sunday cakes but bought the best slices in town.

She didn't help me get ready for school in the mornings but organized the best programs for the weekend.

She didn't prepare my lunch boxes, but she always gave me every penny she had to buy the best snack in the school cafeteria.

In the same way, I think: what was it like growing up without a father around? Without this reference? The answer is I don't know.

I grew up without one, and I didn't miss it.

Being there, my mother and me, is my normality, and I don't know what life is like otherwise.

I might even do it unconsciously, but I don't feel it.

In conclusion, there is no such thing as right or wrong. Only children have pros and cons.

Only your family can dictate the path of connections between everyone and ensure that, whether only children or not, they have a happy life.